PART 4 - "Worth a Shot" and "WTF?"
Sometimes common sense and modern medicine just don't cut it. For those times...
WORTH A SHOT!
1) A cup of coffee. While this really won't do much to relieve the pain, and in fact may make some symptoms worse, sometimes you just gotta get your ass in gear, know what I mean?
2) Take a shower, switching between hot and cold water. (EDITORS NOTE: Maybe this should go in the "WTF" Section?)
3) Drink pickle juice. That's what they do in Poland, a country admired for their advances in modern medicine. But what if they're just saying that to get us Americans to drink pickle juice? And then laughing at us to get us back for all the "dumb pollack" jokes. Maybe. Maybe...
4) Hair of the dog! Yeah baby!
5) Miso soup, Tripe Soup, Haejangguk Soup. Seems like just "soup" in general.
6) Kudzu (EDITOR'S NOTE: wtf is Kudzu!?)
7) Six raw almonds... BEFORE imbibing!
(EDITORS NOTE: There are only FIVE almonds in this picture! Cheap bastards!)
8) Activated Charcoal – one tablet per drink, while you're drinking.
(EDITORS NOTE: Activated Charcoal? Really? I mean... really?? That's like when my dearly departed Me-maw told me eating three almonds a day would prevent cancer. A habit she stuck to religiously... until she died of cancer).
9) Raw cabbage (at least you'll drive off those around you and you can get a few hours of quiet as you sit in a yellow-green cloud of your own stink).
10) Scalp stimulation -- pull your hair in clumps. It'll bring blood to your scalp. And create splotchy bald spots. And splotchy is in. Splotchy is the new black. Trust us.
1) Dehydrated Nopal cactus powder. We don't know what this is or where you can get it. Or if it's real. Or if 'Nopal' is a real word. Sounds good, though!
2) In Canada (they do know beer in Canada!) it's customary to dip one's genitals into frozen lake water, hold said reproductive organs under the water for as long as possible. Like such:
Careful with that axe!
3 ) Some sort of "miracle" hangover pill sold to you via email and addressed to DEER SIR oR MADAM! Many times you will be directed to send your social security number, credit card number, and bank routing information. Don't worry. It's perfectly safe AND legit!
Got a kick-ass remedy for a hangover! Email us!
Hey, seriously. We don't want to be a wet blanket, but if you're drinking too much, you might wanna see a doctor. Alcoholism can kill you. That's the permanent sort of kill, btw. As in -- "cease to exist."
That is all!
Nothing more to see here!
We'd love to hear what you think, and will use your suggestions to make the site better, so feel free to speak your mind!